Running along the barren corn and bean fields this morning, I had to keep psyching myself up. Feeling overwhelmed, tired... out into the cold air to shake it off.
Peace did not come easily.
I wrestled with my thoughts and memories. Tangled in realities and dreams as if they were in step with me under the gray skies.
One breath. One step. It became my mantra.
Clear my head only to find floods of thoughts seeping back in.
One breath. A flash of sitting with my dad as he took his last exhale. The moment sealed forever in the recesses of my mind. Not one single regret or fear of words unspoken.
One step. Remembering my other dad driving me away from a bad relationship, telling me time heals. Wisdom earned. Lesson lost and relearned with equal patience.
One breath. Late night calls of loss that knock the initial breath away. A brother. A grandfather. Others who came and went but left a mark.
One step. Generational shuffling. Who's watching out for whom? Those cared for become the caretakers.
One breath. One step. A thousand images hitting the pavement. Laughter and tears intertwined. No order.
They land in tempo. Spent.
