Father's Eyes

Today would have been my father’s 80’s birthday.

I miss him. A lot.

He was a negotiator for Boilermakers. He was a company man. He often had to stand up for what was right when a whole lot of folks were not too pleased with a message he was delivering. Over his life’s work, he was highly respected and indeed loved by his peers – on both sides of the negotiating table.

He was a man who showed up. He cared for his neighbors. He had a work ethic that was inspirational. He failed frequently and apologized quickly. He laughed in abundance. He loved generously and unconditionally.

He had dementia in his final years, and his memory of me was stuck at about my age of 5. There are some advantages to that, but that is another story.

And yes, I was and still am a daddy’s girl.

I’ve thought about him a lot lately especially as I lead my Y team. I think about his passion, his vision, his impatience at times for folks to trust the bigger picture and live out the plan. I think about his desire to care for people.

So today seemed like a good Monday to send a Monday Musing and also post it to my blog in honor of all those things.

My Y team and I have come quite a ways since we started all this work together. We speak new languages of Activate and Gulick. We ask questions, pull data. We add to work loads, ask folks to step away from old habits or work patterns to embrace new ways. We have leaders from the middle. We seek excellence, even when it is outside our comfort zones. We demand a balance of work product and authentic relationship building. We add to the mix deeper community outreach and impact. We build our internal capacity and watch the payoffs rise. Things change so that other things can come together for the times we are in.

The pace seems to speed up. It has.

I notice all the impact they make happen. I see them showing up. I see them negotiating the changes – sometimes with ease and joy, sometimes with stutters and challenge. I see them working together – sometimes in laughter, sometimes with disagreement. Know that it’s all good.

Finally, there’s a song by Amy Grant about “My Father’s Eyes.” She is speaking of our heavenly Father’s eyes, of course… eyes that see the good in things, a source of help, compassion for others. My dad had those eyes. I hope to as well.

Days 19 - 25 Do Not Disappoint

Thankful for the opportunities to keep in tune with blessings one and all.

Day 19: Male cardinals all over our backyard - a thrill to see multiple red birds!

Day 20: My dog Cody just plain loves me. That makes me happy.

Day 21: Still walking the dogs twice a day. Grateful for that new found discipline for me and the dogs.

Day 22: Reflecting on cool meetings with key community leaders. I like meeting new folks and hearing their stories.

Day 23: Doing homework with Rachel makes me think...hard.

Day 24: Rachel's orchestra concert...they sound sooooo much better than this time last year.

Day 25: There is an odd joy that comes from pulling up weeds...especially 3 foot tall weeds that look like they could eat a small dog.

Days 6 - 18: Random Gratitude List Grows

The last two weeks I have jotted notes as the joys and blessings washed over me along with the rain that has been non-stop...

Day 6: There is this amazing sweet smell when I walk the dogs each morning. I cannot figure out where it is wafting from... no gardens in that section of the walk. Perhaps a tree's blooms but nothing obvious. It is a mysterious delight.

Day 7: Birthday party at Jacobson Park. Simply joys of kids (even when they think they are so big) laughing and running around like banshees on a playground!

Day 8: Mom's day. Kid's made breakfast and sweet cards. A day of rest for me from usual weekend routine and hustle.

Day 9: Nate cell phone. Age 10. Boy, did we self-justify that one.

Day 10: Nathan clicks over to double digits. Where did the time go? I wonder when he will stop having me tuck him in at night, read with him or rest with him for a bit to answer life's questions and chat about the day? I am no hurry for those things to change.

Day 11: I am grateful I still write notes by hand. I wish more people did.

Day 12: Robin Hood Marketing book. Good reminders and some new ideas. Need to share the book.

Day 13: Purple iris' in neighbor's yard. Lovely.

Day 14: Love a list for cleaning the house. Obsessive? Yes. Stick like it, yes. Especially when done and the effort lasts for more than an hour!

Day 15: Gary Black on change coming, new Richmond Road Campus Pastor for Southland, "Nervousness is natural. Fear is a choice." Love it. Then traveled.

Chicago. O'Hare Westin Platinum guest. Heavenly Bed; amazing toiletries; iPod docking station in room. Need I say more?

Day 16: Digging on the new Y USA Strategic Plan vision. I really like to learn. Enjoyed Dan Heath video segments and Neil's twirl.

Day 17: I am grateful Kate protects my calendar.

Day 18: Bill Farmer is smart. I like thinking with him. Isabel Taylor is wise. I like learning from her. Chris Coker is hilarious. I like my internal laughs from afar with him.

Days 2, 3, 4, 5: Lessons in the small stuff

Day 2 reminded me that I find joy in clearing my to do piles at work. In that I found happiness today. Simple stuff, but worked for me in my search for gratitude.

Day 3 I nearly skipped while walking the dogs. The greens were amazing. So for all the rain, the result was pure brilliance. I'll take the bitter with the sweet along my path.

Day 4 reminded me that even when I feel fragile as a parent, there are other parents feeling the same thing. What I thought was going to be a hassle of calling all the parents who did not RSVP for their kid coming to Nate's b-day party was actually a gift - a reminder that other parents sometimes miss the little details, that other spouses/partners don't always communicate things like kids' activity schedules and that the black hole of Nate's backpack seems to have other locations as well. I found gratitude in the reminders to lighten up on parenthood.

Day 5 Laughed with YMCA kids making "ants on a log" (celery, raisins and cream cheese). Little kids make ya smile. I need to hang out with the little guys more.

May 1, Day 1: 100 days of peace

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.

These simple thoughts started me on the idea of a 100 days of peace. Intellectual, spiritual, physical peace... although world peace would not be too bad either.

I had lofty intentions to spend the day focused on gratitude. Reality? Not so much.

The day started with weariness from all the travel and unfulfilled expectations; I'm afraid I let a bunch of people down at NAYDO by not getting to spend much time with them.

I was even tempted to say, "I'll start tomorrow." As I lashed out a few times at the little aggravations of parenthood, I thought, "Perhaps this is not such a good idea."

But here it is day one and for all the challenges, I am going to chose to end the day at peace with myself. I'm going to choose the little things and "count them" as steps on my new peace pathway.

I'll save the big things of peace for another day. Today I count five actions as honest moments of peace.

* I apologized sincerely to the kids when I spoke out in anger.
* I tidied up the house, not looking for praise but rather because if brought me calm at the end of the day.
* I walked both dogs and enjoyed the brilliant greens of spring.
* Two loads of laundry...not very exciting to most, but the chore brought me a sense of order.
* I took the kids for Puccini's and Orange Leaf and just relaxed.

Small moments of gratitude for the blessings in my life. I will embrace them.

Oh, and I just heard on the late news...Bin Laden is dead. I still pray that maybe peace in the world is possible afterall.

Elder Wisdom

Some days it hits me more than others just how incredibly blessed I am.

Today was one of those days.

Somehow fortune smiled upon me in the form of Lexington sage who found me and decided I was worth investment - in time, spirit and wisdom. His to give that is and mine to reap!

There is something quite remarkable when someone who has no apparent benefit, no profit motive, and possibly no additional gain to himself takes an interest to mentor, coach, stretch you.

Such has been my adventure over the past year. Wonderful one-on-ones, a tasty lunch at some cool place and amazing conversation and thought.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, he's decided to introduce me to new folks... other wise elders willing to share a thought, idea, dream, challenge.

In a world content with emails and tweets, postings and texts, I float in the joy of leisurely lunch topics and a world of seventy-something insight.

Let me soak it all in. May I use it well. May I pass it on.

The World Feels Small

At this time of great loss and suffering, the world feels small.

I see the loss and devastation - lives and infrastructure - in Sendai, the coastal Y near the Japan earthquake's epicenter. Where I feel joy for those I know from Tokyo who are safe and accounted, but I also experience immense sadness for those I do not know but feel a kindred spirit with in Sendai. I wonder what would I do if my world was threatened so violently in an instant?

I feel the frustration of a friend in Israel with so much on his plate and few supportive resources when he needs them most. I contemplate how to do more.

I ponder the faces of children playing in trash rubble in Kosovo that a friend posts on Facebook. While I hear my own children bicker over petty items. I renew my commitment to expose them to realities which will strengthen their character.

I admire a friend who followed his dream of time with immediate family and a move loser to extended family. I resolve to build in real moments of connection with my own crew - near and far.

My nightly prayers should be interesting.

New Year, new start...

I've had a few reality checks of late... on pretty much every front and to the core in several. The particulars are not all that important. But the offering, the gift through it all have been enlightening to me.

Perspective is significant. I tend to pride myself on seeing multiple viewpoints.

But in the end perspective only gets you so far. And often only as far as my own perspective yields itself.

But I have come to see faith as the greatest consequence, the essential nugget that turned any of my possible reactions into the more valuable opportunity. Faith allowed the fear to subside. The first step to be taken.

And so I embrace the New Year, the new start. The cliche, not unnoticed by me... but clinched none-the-less.