Hour by hour

Beep. Beep. Beep. For 53 days, I have been heard that sound about every 60 minutes of my waking days. A timer set to remind me to be purposeful in my prayers. To be mindful of what it means to be in relationship with God... hour by hour, moment by moment.

How hard can it be? Plenty.

My particular timer goes off every 50 minutes then at the 55 minute mark and finally full on at the 60 minute time. At 50 minutes the double beeper has reminded me for 53 days that I am to be mindful, relational, aware. Usually that means it is a reminder that I was suppose to be mindful, relational, aware. I perk up at the 50 minute mark, determined.

55 minutes a single beep says "hey, I am not kidding... the hour's almost up." Pay attention. Live moment-by-moment with God.

And then the space happens... even in as short as five minutes, I forget. I wander. I get distracted. Geesh.

When the 60 minute beep comes, I have been amazed at how in the moment, I am most vulnerable for needing to be in living connection with God. Did I just say, that? Think that?

And yet... I yield in the moment. I stop. I tune in to prayer as a way of life.

How can I do anything but that. Me, imperfect. Me, distracted. Me, grateful as a child to be forgiven for my conflicts, stumbles big and small.

Every 60 minutes. A reminder to live in encouragement to others. To be grateful for my joys and my trials. To live authentic to my frailties and my strengths.

Truth be told: I should be setting the timer for five minute increments. Every five minutes in celebration, jubilation for a Father who knows and loves me in all my shadows and who calls me to the light - hour by hour.

Beep.